


Too Drunk to Funk(-tion)

by sagwalli



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: 2x07, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brief Wynonna Earp, Domestic Bliss, Drunk Nicole Haught, Established Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, F/F, Fluff, Nicole Haught Loves Waverly Earp, Romantic Fluff, They are such a cute couple, Waverly Earp Loves Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp Takes Care of Nicole Haught, Waverly is lowkey mad but she still loves her silly redhead, gay fluff, some inspiration from when drunk Nicole met Waverly after hitting the strip joint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-16 00:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15424563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagwalli/pseuds/sagwalli
Summary: Waverly sees cute, drunk Nicole emerging from the strip club with Wynonna. Waverly loves Nicole to death, she really does, but now has to take Nicole home and care for her adorable ass so that she doesn't wake up too hungover in the morning. Waverly is mad, but who can stay at Nicole? Waverly prays that Nicole won't prove too big of a problem to deal with.This fluff starts with the scene in season 2 episode 7, once Waverly discovers Nicole and Wynonna leaving the strip joint.





	Too Drunk to Funk(-tion)

**Author's Note:**

> THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND ARE SO CUTE IN THE SERIES I LIVE FOR TWENTYGAYTEEN SHOOT SOME RAINBOW CONFETTI UP IN HERE
> 
> Anyway, hope you like this fluff piece I got from an anon prompt. You can send me prompts or reach out to me on Tumblr. 
> 
> Tumblr/Twitter: @sagwalli

"You are so pretty, and I like you so much!" Nicole looked like she was going to fall over.

"You, are drunk, and in trouble, both of you. I hit three other strip clubs.  _Three._ Do you  _know_ how much strawberry-scented glitter I have on me? Huh?" Waverly flailed her arms for emphasis.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch," Wynonna said. Nicole just bobbed her head.

"Yeah? Well, maybe they're already in a bunch," Waverly said as scathingly as she could, which wasn't very much. She loved her sister, even if said sister did get a certain someone's girlfriend drunk out of her mind. Waverly grabbed Nicole by the collar and dragged her toward the jeep. "You, are coming with me. As for  _you_ ," Waverly said pointedly at Wynonna, flicking her eyes down at the sprawled man by the car. "You deal with whoever this guy is. And don't get my girlfriend wasted at a strip joint ever again!"

"Love you, too, sis!" Wynonna called, waving as Waverly slammed the driver's seat door shut and drove off. "What a fun nightmare."

 

* * *

 

"Snap out of it!" Waverly exclaimed, Nicole's arm slung over her shoulders. Nicole could barely walk up the steps to the front door. "How could you get so drunk?"

"I... I was drinking for two -- I mean, three," Nicole warbled. Her head fell forward, and Waverly could almost hear the splat in her head as she steadied Nicole upright again, saving the pavement from splatter. "Wynonna... Where'd Wynonna go?"

"You're here with your girlfriend, and you're really asking for your her sister instead?" Waverly dumped Nicole onto the couch. "Stay here."

Waverly stepped into the kitchen to pour Nicole a glass of water. Waverly carefully sliced a lemon, hearing Nicole sing Backstreet Boys at the top of her lungs. It was endearing, Waverly had to admit, but how could law-abiding, police officer Nicole get herself so drunk in the middle of the day? Was it even noon? Waverly dropped a piece of lemon into the water glass and popped two slices of bread into the toaster.

"Drink up, okay, baby?" Waverly cooed, bringing the cup to Nicole's lips. Nicole obeyed and took several large gulps before tilting her chin up to signal Waverly to move the cup back.

"I love you," Nicole said with a pout. "I love you more than there are stars in the sky!"

"It's daytime, Nicole," Waverly reminded her gently. "There are no stars in the sky."

"I love you more than there are stars in the  _night_ sky!" Nicole corrected herself.

"That's sweet. Now, can you sit up straight?"

Nicole huffed. "Of course I can! Who do you think I am? I am unstoppable!" Nicole turned on the speaker. "See? I can even dance! Come dance with me, Waves. Funk! I'm totally fine, really I am -- Oof!" Nicole's disco moves landed her in a heap on the carpet.

"How... funky, Nicky, but I asked if you could sit upright, not stand!" Waverly scolded, picking Nicole off the ground and helping her back onto the couch.

"I just wanted to make you happy," Nicole wailed, giving Waverly her best puppy dog eyes. Boy, they were good.

"You always make me happy, hon." Waverly smiled and pinched Nicole's cheek. "So, can you sit?"

"I'm sitting right now!"

"You're laying down."

"And there's a bird!"

"That's a painting."

"It makes such beautiful sounds."

"That's a cuckoo clock."

"Wow!" Nicole looked at the ceiling in such awe that Waverly felt a twinge of pity knock against her heart.

"You poor thing," Waverly murmured, feeling Nicole's forehead. "You're hot."

"I am Haught," Nicole nodded seriously, her eyes closed and lips pursed. "I am she."

"Did you really just say that?"

"Sheeeeee. Sheeee!" Nicole dragged out. "SHEEEEEE!"

"Shh! Keep your voice down," Waverly giggled. "The only 'shee you sound like is a banshee. I want to kill you for getting drunk, but you're too cute."

Nicole snuffled lightly, hugging Waverly around the waist.

Waverly stared at the suddenly sleepy redhead before her. Nicole Haught, resident cop, and sexy badass. Waverly tussled her short hair. It was so silky soft and smooth. Just like her skin. Waverly caressed Nicole's face, feeling the small dimples that grew with every wide smile. Man, she loved that woman.

Waverly snapped out of her daydream, straightened her back and cleared her throat. "But I'm still mad at you!" 

"Hmm?" Nicole asked, partially awake. "Did you say something?"

"Oh, pish posh!" Waverly said, pushing Nicole off. "Here I am, taking care of you, and you aren't even listening."

"No, no, no," Nicole said, reaching out to grab a rising Waverly by the wrist and pull her back into a bear hug. "I love you. I love, love, _love_ you. Of _course_ I listen to my sweet, sweet Waverly..."

"Stop nuzzling my neck!" Waverly squealed, trying to escape from Nicole's iron grip. "Ah, you're too strong."

"That's right," Nicole said, stretching out her long limbs. "Haught stuff, right here. Strong stuff, too. One taste, and you can't get enough."

"Stop being such a tease, Nicky," Waverly said, pressing the increasingly closer Nicole back down back onto the couch with a finger to the forehead. 

"You're being the tease," Nicole puffed, blowing some hair out of her face. Waverly went to the kitchen.

Waverly called over, "If you weren't drunk right now, this would a very different kind of tease." Waverly spread a pat of butter over each slice of golden-brown toast and cut each piece diagonally.

"Fun shapes!" Nicole's eyes lit up.

"Yes, sweetie, fun shapes," cooed Waverly as she fed Nicole the bread. "Eat up, okay?"

"O-okay," Nicole mumbled, crumbs falling out of her mouth. Waverly wiped Nicole's mouth and tipped her head back, sliding water down her throat.

Nicole grinned and sat up, slowly, careful to not fall over. Waverly readjusted so Nicole could lean on her shoulder. Nicole's arms wrapped around her waist. Waverly felt red hair tickle her collarbone as Nicole snuggled her head up against the crook of Waverly's neck.

"So soft," Nicole said into Waverly's skin. "You're really soft."

Waverly patted Nicole's head absentmindedly. "That's very nice of you."

"Hey, babe?" Nicole said, sounding the soberest she had since Waverly first saw her stumble out the back of the strip club.

"Yeah?"

"Zzz..."

Waverly sighed. Nicole was sound asleep, snoring softly. Waverly couldn't help but stare at Nicole's peaceful expression. Nicole's brows, which frequently furrowed in concentration or under stress, rested untroubled. Bright hair framed a tranquil countenance. The worry Waverly often saw melted away with the shallow breaths Nicole took. It was really nice to see Nicole so... undisturbed.

Undisturbed.

If Waverly were to move, she would disturb the sleeping angel that leaned against her body. If she stayed still, maybe she could reach her foot out and somehow get the TV remote that sat on the coffee table just a foot or so away from the couch. On the other hand, if she failed, she was stuck, for who knows how long. She supposed she could try and maybe move so Nicole could lay down on the couch.

But what if she woke up?

Waverly  _really_ didn't want to wake Nicole up. She didn't want to make a drunk Nicole all sulky or something. Waverly knew that if there was one thing that made drunk people grumpy, it was being woken up from naps-

"Hmph." Waverly slid Nicole right off. So what if Nicole woke up? She made Waverly mad by getting all drunk, so what's wrong with a taste of her own medicine? Well, it wasn't really a taste of her own medicine. Waverly wasn't one for mid-day drinking and potentially waking up Nicole didn't seem to rest on the same level Out of the Earps, it was a habit left to Wynonna. 

"Hmm?" Nicole's head shot up. "What just happened?"

"Oh, baby," Waverly apologized immediately. She cursed inaudibly at her weak resolve. "I'm sorry. I tried to get up to leave and woke you up."

"Ah... huh," Nicole said to herself, seeming confused. "What?"

"Oh-!" Waverly blushed and stamped her foot. "Okay, you got me. I pushed you off because I felt a little mad in the moment, and you got so  _drunk_ earlier! But I'm really, really, sorry. Like, _really_ sorry."

Waverly's words came off sounding angrier than she really was. She pursed her lips, cheeks warm. She just couldn't get over how irresponsible Nicole had been. What if she had gotten hurt? There was that weird man by the Jeep. And Wynonna just encouraged her! But Waverly really couldn't stay mad for long. 

"No, I'm sorry," Nicole said, turning solemn. "I'm sorry for, um, for... What did I do again?" Her tousled hair stuck up in various places. She looked like a sea urchin.

"You're too drunk," sighed Waverly. "And just too cute. God, why can't I stay mad? I feel like I've said that fifty times. I love you, Nicole."

"Okay," Nicole nodded earnestly. "I love you, too! You're the best in the whole world!"

Waverly caressed Nicole's flushed cheek. "Thanks, Nicky. Let's get you to sleep."

"Anything you want," murmured a sleepy redhead. 

Waverly gave Nicole an affectionate kiss on the forehead before going to find a blanket for Nicole. Waverly found a blanket and tucked her cute girlfriend in, making sure a pillow comfortably sat under Nicole's head. Nobody likes to wake up with neck cramps in the morning.

 

* * *

 

 "Argh!" Nicole groaned. Her head hurt like crazy. What happened again?

"Morning sleepyhead," Waverly handed her a mug of coffee. "Drink up."

"My head..."

"You had quite a lot to drink yesterday," Waverly said coolly with one eyebrow raised.

"Oh, right," Nicole said sheepishly. "Babe, I'm sorry, but Wynonna dragged me along. I couldn't say no!"

"Well, you technically could have, but it's okay. Really, it's okay."

"Doesn't sound okay." Nicole's brows furrowed.

"Just promise you won't ever drink like that again, okay?" 

"I promise, Waves. I pinky swear pinky promise."

Waverly giggled as Nicole's arms slipped around her back. "I'm not mad at you. I'm really not mad. You just made me worry about you."

Nicole kissed Waverly's neck. "I'll make it up to you- Ow!" Nicole grabbed her head.

"Maybe another time, Haught-shot," Waverly said, smiling and nudging Nicole with the coffee mug. "Have some more so you'll feel better. I'll get you a glass of water, too. Meet me downstairs in ten. You have to eat in the morning."

Nicole scrunched up her face contentedly as Waverly pecked her cheek, hips swaying as she exited the room. Nicole could hear her girlfriend's footsteps going down the stairs, growing fainter. Nicole sighed and fell back into the blankets and pillows. How did she ever manage to find such an amazing woman? Nicole wasn't sure about that, but she was sure that she was probably a handful and some the previous night. A vague memory about cuckoo clocks crossed her mind before her head began to pang painfully.

"Ouch," Nicole muttered. Those few drinks sure hit hard in the morning. She was  _never_ doing anything like that again. 


End file.
